Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Silopi: Weddings and intestines
Every day here in Turkey feels like a week because there is so much to discover and learn. Last night, Perihan, Selman’s sister-in-law (gorim in Kurdish), dressed me in some of her finest clothes, complete with head scarf. I wore the clothes around the house for the rest of the night. Suffice to say, people here were looking at me differently and some with love in their eyes, although I can’t really see the attraction. It was convenient because a very conservative aunt and her two daughters dropped by just after I put it on. They thought I was such a nice quiet girl and a good match for Selman!
Today we went to a wedding of two of Selman’s cousins, who are 16 and 17 years old. The groom (pictured at left) is the son of his uncle who has 3 wives and 32 children all living in the same house! I put on the outfit from last night, plus some make-up, and was told to just stay quiet and not draw attention to myself. I was the charge of Sema, Selman’s 17-year old sister, and we were quickly whisked off to the women’s room at the uncle’s home. Once they found out I am American, there were a million questions (which always include inquiries about my marital status and then why I am not married). We then went to the home of the bride. Gafur, the cousin who has been driving us around, found out I could drive and had been asking me to drive his car. I finally gave in when he insisted, not realizing what a spectacle it would be in Silopi. People watched with jaws dropped everywhere we went to see a woman in local clothing driving a car. A group of schoolboys fighting in the road stopp
ed and applauded as we went by and old men gawked on the side of the road as we passed. I was then put in charge of driving the bride and her friends to the hairdresser where we spent the next several hours. They put tons of gel and hairspray in her long black hair to create a fantasy of curls and spiraling tendrils. Despite my resistance, my makeup was quickly removed and redone with bright purples down to the nails. In the meantime, the men carried loads of the bride’s belongings to her new home in the car and a tractor and returned with the bridal car covered in ribbons, flowers, and gauze. I was put in charge of driving the bride to her house with instructions to honk the horn constantly. And that I did.
We came to the bride’s house to collect her family (maybe 20 cars worth with people packed in). I suppose her family was a bit scandalized by me because I was instructe
d to not drive her to the wedding because it is more appropriate that a man go first. Huh? But I still got to ride in the bridal car with Gafur, the bride, and her mother, grandmother, and sister. As we left, a group of boys had barricaded the road with rocks and demanded money to remove them. One yeni Turkish lira later (80 cents?), we were on our way to her new home. The grandmother sang a lovely Kurdish song and the bride’s entire head was covered in a red scarf. As we arrived, all the women were standing on the front steps. A woman broke an egg in the yard and dumped out a tray of candy that was quickly snatched up by the children, surely a rite of fertility for the new couple. The bride was taken to a room where she sat with women relatives and received guests.
Sema and I returned to the women’s room for food and tea and
about 20 women asked me questions and made jokes about me. Finally at sunset we returned home for a lovely dinner of lamb. Well, stuffed lamb intestines, tripe (stomach), neck meat (quite tender), and brain (mushy and tastes a bit like liver). I even ate an eyeball, which disturbingly has the consistency of pudding when cooked. Bob thought I was really enjoying it all so I might have missed a successful career as an actress. I think it’s rude in about any culture to gag while eating dinner so I was doing my best to look pleasant.
We ended the evening with a lively conversation on the differences in American and Kurdish culture, which are many. They have a tribal system with lords, arranged m
arriages, polygamy, and occasional honor killings. The women generally work in the house and have little economic freedom. Life is very different here and it makes me really appreciate the opportunities I have. However, differences in cultures do not necessarily imply differences in people, and the people here are very warm, friendly, and open. They are sharing their lives with us and treating us like royalty. I have grown quite attached to them and am so thankful for this amazing opportunity to meet them.
Today we went to a wedding of two of Selman’s cousins, who are 16 and 17 years old. The groom (pictured at left) is the son of his uncle who has 3 wives and 32 children all living in the same house! I put on the outfit from last night, plus some make-up, and was told to just stay quiet and not draw attention to myself. I was the charge of Sema, Selman’s 17-year old sister, and we were quickly whisked off to the women’s room at the uncle’s home. Once they found out I am American, there were a million questions (which always include inquiries about my marital status and then why I am not married). We then went to the home of the bride. Gafur, the cousin who has been driving us around, found out I could drive and had been asking me to drive his car. I finally gave in when he insisted, not realizing what a spectacle it would be in Silopi. People watched with jaws dropped everywhere we went to see a woman in local clothing driving a car. A group of schoolboys fighting in the road stopp
ed and applauded as we went by and old men gawked on the side of the road as we passed. I was then put in charge of driving the bride and her friends to the hairdresser where we spent the next several hours. They put tons of gel and hairspray in her long black hair to create a fantasy of curls and spiraling tendrils. Despite my resistance, my makeup was quickly removed and redone with bright purples down to the nails. In the meantime, the men carried loads of the bride’s belongings to her new home in the car and a tractor and returned with the bridal car covered in ribbons, flowers, and gauze. I was put in charge of driving the bride to her house with instructions to honk the horn constantly. And that I did.We came to the bride’s house to collect her family (maybe 20 cars worth with people packed in). I suppose her family was a bit scandalized by me because I was instructe
d to not drive her to the wedding because it is more appropriate that a man go first. Huh? But I still got to ride in the bridal car with Gafur, the bride, and her mother, grandmother, and sister. As we left, a group of boys had barricaded the road with rocks and demanded money to remove them. One yeni Turkish lira later (80 cents?), we were on our way to her new home. The grandmother sang a lovely Kurdish song and the bride’s entire head was covered in a red scarf. As we arrived, all the women were standing on the front steps. A woman broke an egg in the yard and dumped out a tray of candy that was quickly snatched up by the children, surely a rite of fertility for the new couple. The bride was taken to a room where she sat with women relatives and received guests.
Sema and I returned to the women’s room for food and tea and
about 20 women asked me questions and made jokes about me. Finally at sunset we returned home for a lovely dinner of lamb. Well, stuffed lamb intestines, tripe (stomach), neck meat (quite tender), and brain (mushy and tastes a bit like liver). I even ate an eyeball, which disturbingly has the consistency of pudding when cooked. Bob thought I was really enjoying it all so I might have missed a successful career as an actress. I think it’s rude in about any culture to gag while eating dinner so I was doing my best to look pleasant.We ended the evening with a lively conversation on the differences in American and Kurdish culture, which are many. They have a tribal system with lords, arranged m
arriages, polygamy, and occasional honor killings. The women generally work in the house and have little economic freedom. Life is very different here and it makes me really appreciate the opportunities I have. However, differences in cultures do not necessarily imply differences in people, and the people here are very warm, friendly, and open. They are sharing their lives with us and treating us like royalty. I have grown quite attached to them and am so thankful for this amazing opportunity to meet them.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Silopi
Wow -- what an amazing couple of days! We are now in Silopi visiting Selman's family. Bob and I flew from Istanbul to Diyarbakir and Selman and his cousin Gafur picked us up at the airport. We drove through the ancient city of Mardin and Cizre, passing over the Tigris (Dicle) River. The road followed the border with Syria and Iraq (don't worry -- we are quite safe!) and Selman's family's house looks onto the mountains just over the border into Iraq.
The ride was amazing -- the 20 mile stretch of road between Cizre and Silopi was lined with oil tanker trucks waiting up to 2 weeks to enter Iraq with refined oil. INSANE. The drivers must sleep in their trucks the entire time they wait. It's so ridiculous to see these gas-guzzling trucks waiting to bring oil into Iraq. The oil originated there but supposedly the refineries have been destroyed in the war so the oil must be processed in Turkey. However, the word on the street is that oil is being refined in Iraq and this is just another way to bankrupt Iraq. Sometimes the oil is even dumped when it reaches Iraq because it is not needed there. It is madness. The photo shows a long line of trucks parked along the Tigris River.Selman's family is very welcoming and has treated us like royalty. Selman's village was destroyed 11 years ago in the fight against Kurdish nationalists. His family lives in a new large home in Silopi, which has quadrupled in size in the last 3 years due to the war in Iraq and the opportunities it has brought to this main border town. Since I do not speak Turkish or Kurdish, communication is slow but Bob and Selman are helpful and Selman's family is patient. They brought us a fabulous breakfast with fresh yogurt, olives, tahini, grape syrup, cucumbers, tomatoes, bread, and several types of handmade cheeses. Unbelievable. The daughters shined my shoes before we left the house today.
We have been walking around Silopi, where Bob and I (especially with my blue eyes) are an oddity. We stopped at two different weddings today and enjoyed the dancing, the beautiful outfits, and the incredible music! The first wedding had zurna and davul (large drum strapped to the player and played on both sides quite loudly) and the second wedding, held in the Roma (gypsy) section of town had electric saz, drum machine, and singers. The dancing is amazing with lots of knee bending and frantic shoulder movements. Using these scarves with the Kurdish colors would have caused the wedding to be stopped only a few years ago. I took lots of pictures and videos which I'll try to post later.
We are still running around town with Selman and his cousin Salih and they are trying to find a husband for me here! I don't think this is necessarily where I will settle down (so don't worry, Mom).Friday, November 25, 2005
Day 2: Recovering
Still feeling the effects of the long day of travel and folks are nice here to put up with me passing out cold at any given point! Didn't make it to the hamam but Bob and I did purchase our tickets to Diyarbakir today and we leave tomorrow evening! We will stay with our friend Selman for about a week. Selman has been calling Bob about every 30 minutes for several days in anticipation of our visit and has procured a car to come pick us up and take us to his home in Silopi. Bob and I visited Amelia and Emre today. Amelia just returned from a belly dance event in Egypt. I hope to see her performance with Burhan Ocal next month at the club Babylon. Enough cigarette smoke for now in this internet cafe!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Day 1 -- Made it!!
I arrived in Istanbul last night! My saz teacher Bob sent me a note in Turkish to give to the taxi driver so I was able to get to his house by about 7 PM last night without any problems (other than making the taxi driver laugh at my pronunciation of the word "Kocamustafapaşa"). Bob lives in the bottom floor of a house with a big yard, a rare treat in this crowded old city. I brought him some plants and seeds that he'd requested and he's already planted the kiwi plants in his new garden bed. We sat up late visiting last night with his Zaza friend Emre (Amelia's fiance) who also plays saz. We relaxed in the living room by the coal-burning stove and they played and sang. We sipped raki and ate pears, cheese, and tasty beef sausage dipped in pomegranate sauce. Heaven!
This morning at about 4:30 AM it became obvious how close Bob lives to a mosque. The morning ezan (call to prayer) sounded like it was coming from within my brain! Today we walked to the old city walls that were built to protect Constantinople from invading Crusaders. We also went to the weekly market in his neighborhood where big tarps are set up over the streets and every kind of produce, clothing, cookware, etc. is sold. I picked up a pair of fuzzy orange slippers and some tasty salad supplies. Bob cooked some lovely quinces when we got home. We are planning to visit our friend Selman in the Kurdish area of Turkey this weekend for about a week. I'm very excited!
Bob's house doesn't have electricity right now except for an extension cord running from his neighbor's unit. But we have a lamp and can play CD's, so we are surviving somehow! I am planning to visit one of the three local hamams (Turkish baths) tomorrow and get thoroughly clean! Woohoo!
This morning at about 4:30 AM it became obvious how close Bob lives to a mosque. The morning ezan (call to prayer) sounded like it was coming from within my brain! Today we walked to the old city walls that were built to protect Constantinople from invading Crusaders. We also went to the weekly market in his neighborhood where big tarps are set up over the streets and every kind of produce, clothing, cookware, etc. is sold. I picked up a pair of fuzzy orange slippers and some tasty salad supplies. Bob cooked some lovely quinces when we got home. We are planning to visit our friend Selman in the Kurdish area of Turkey this weekend for about a week. I'm very excited!
Bob's house doesn't have electricity right now except for an extension cord running from his neighbor's unit. But we have a lamp and can play CD's, so we are surviving somehow! I am planning to visit one of the three local hamams (Turkish baths) tomorrow and get thoroughly clean! Woohoo!
